It's not you, it's me.

Dear Chemistry,

It saddens me how our relationship is turning into a bad romance. In all honesty, I never thought we’d ever lose spark. Since I respect and loved you once, with all my heart, I’m just gonna take a different path. Just so whatever in between us won’t have to turn into something really ugly and bitter? I don’t know but recently, all you do is bring out the dumbest in me and I don't like it. Though I cannot tell you yet what I want in the future, I am very certain that its not you or anything like you, at all. I'm sorry. I’m afraid this is the end of us. I hope to see you not, ever. 

Sincerely,

J

I’ve always thought the need to work my ass to get something I really want would be the most difficult thing I would ever get to do in this life time. Boy, I was wrong. Trying to figure what I really want in life is the bomb. That stagnant and lost feeling –asn@!!cna! I don’t even know where to start. L

While I’m on my third semester on Master of Science in Chemistry Education, I had this sudden change of heart. Okay, maybe not sudden, since it is actually recurring, whatever. The thing is I don’t find Chemistry fascinating anymore. It’s only been two weeks since class started yet I can’t wait for the semester to end. God knows how much I wanted to fast forward to Christmas break and how hopeful I am for class suspension every time it rains or whenever new LPA is around (true story, bro). I hate how my mind automatically shuts down upon hearing chemistry related words; that I have to dyslexic-ally sit for a three hour lecture of derivatives and stuff; how I do injustice to my professor –like, he does his lectures beautifully and I, in return, leave his class without understanding one bit of it.

This is me during class:

Prof: Reviewing derivatives.

*IMH: Ah, so sleepy. I should’ve grabbed coffee on my way.

Prof: On total differential.

IMH: Dammit, it’s so cold. I should’ve worn something thicker. Wait, what the hell is he talking about? Damn, I need coffee. /doodles

Prof: On cyclic rule and thermodynamics.

IMH: Is it 11 yet?

Prof: Answer numbers 2 and 3. B.

IMH: Sufferings. Crap, I wanna go home. /doodles

*IMH – Inside My Head 

Sigh. I wish the thought never crossed my mind. 
Trololol.

Ranting 101: RH Bill and Urban Poverty

One noon, as I’m making my way to class, I saw some No to RH Bill tarpaulins inside the campus (not surprised since I’m in a catholic university) and it made me contemplate on some things. House Bill 5043 commonly known as the Reproductive Health (RH) Bill is basically an act to provide national policy on reproductive health, responsible parenthood and population development; sounds legit, so what's the fuss about? I’ve no idea, at all.

Philippines is a small country yet if you google world’s largest population, you’d see it on the 12^th spot –which I find alarming. One doesn’t need much thinking to arrive that boom in population would affect the economy (either positively or negatively; but in our case it is obviously negative). Walk the streets and you’ll see how crowded it is, take public vehicles and young people (sometimes carrying baby) would hop in and beg for coins, observe the side streets and evidences of scarcity would be right before your eyes. I loathe people who make rude remarks on these people, I mean, are they even thinking? I don’t think anyone would want to beg for money just to eat. You can’t go and tell them to get a job and make a living; NO, you just don’t say that to people who didn’t make it to school, not to people who barely read or write. They were innocently brought in this world by their parents, who more or less share the same sentiments they are actually having now; it is just a cycle, only it gets worse over time. These people are caged in appalling condition; they didn’t have a choice they never had a choice. With RH Bill, these people can have options; they can start bettering their lives. I reckon it’s absurd to advance that passing RH Bill would turn us to a bunch of murderers; I don’t see this Bill far from Family Planning –it’s just something that has to be properly dispensed to each and every people. We shouldn’t even be worrying about having abortion legalized (hidden agenda) yet; I don’t think it would be such a hit if our people are all educated and have access to anything that could prevent unwanted pregnancy in the first place. I think what’s real evil is to let people multiply like rabbits regardless of their situation and capabilities; it is terrible to bring another mouth into the world you know you can’t feed and most of all, it is unjust to bring another soul you know you can’t give education and liberty to lead a quality life.

Look around; do you still like what you are seeing? It is not enough we admit that quality of life in our country is deteriorating; we must also do something about it.